So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
