No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
