are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
