I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
