I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Randomize