i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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