ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
My penis needs a shock collar
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
