Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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