matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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