That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
