Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
