he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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