i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He better not be in your backpack
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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