I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
