I want to make a zoo with you.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
