i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
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