Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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