What a fucking waste of an outfit
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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