I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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