Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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