just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
