good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
