I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
