I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Boobs speak an international language.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
