Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
