her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize