Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.