If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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