I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
