barbara walters just said penis...
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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