Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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