I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Never underestimate the power of titties
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