Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
