when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
