I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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