at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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