He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I'm getting married
To pizza
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize