i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The adults are the big ones right?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize