Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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