So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
