She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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