He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
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