it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
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