You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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