have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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