So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize