I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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