Whod you bang
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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