Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
being pregnant is like rehab
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
