the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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