went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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