That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
