He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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