woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
