Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
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