I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
