His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
The best revenge is premature balding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
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