You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
My vagina is very pro this idea
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize