what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
