You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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