We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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