I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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