that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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