is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
