I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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